senyum

masuk entri ni, dah tiga kali berturut-turut saya tulis entri sedih. saya harap lepas ni, saya tak terdorong untuk menulis lagi entri sedih yang keempat.

apa boleh buat, itulah yang saya rasakan sekarang....lebih-lebih lagi saya berseorangan di rumah. waktu hening pagi hari di kala baru bangun dari tidur adalah saat di mana kesedihan itu paling terasa. sedih yang terkesan di jiwa sehingga tidak ada mood untuk melanjutkan lena. hasilnya, sebelum jam 7 saya sudah ada di pejabat.

hari ini tanggal 28 januari. 3 tahun yang lepas, pada hari ini, salah seorang rakan yang saya sayangi telah pulang ke hadrat Ilahi. rakan saya ini juga merupakan sepupu kepada makcik saya yang anaknya baru meninggal (entri 24 januari). adat dunia, banyak kebetulan yang kita tak sangka. saya bertuah kerana berpeluang mengenali dan merapati kedua-dua insan ceria ini. semoga roh mereka dicucuri rahmat dan aman tenteram di sisi Sang Pencipta.

kun fayakun. itu janji Allah.

mati itu pasti. hidup itu tidak. maka janganlah digembirakan sangat akan kesenangan hidup. janganlah disedihkan sangat akan dugaan hidup.

sentiasalah senyum.

I've never...

I've never
seen dad cried that much
not since grandma died 17 years ago...

I've never
seen that much emotion
from the usually aloof Angah
now the responsibility of the eldest
falls on his little shoulders

I've never
thought that my tough brother
will cry
but he broke down at little things
that makes him remember

I've never
known how much I love
until it's gone

to my favorite phat boy...

I'm still hoping that this is all a joke

Like what u always do

And a very bad one indeed

I'm still expecting

For you to call me any minute from now

And said "gotcha"

So that I will have the right to kick you silly

But I guess people don't pull a bad joke

on old people with weak heart

and high blood pressure

I'm going to miss your easygoing smile

and your comment everytime
when you see me all dressed up

"you're looking for a guy is it?"

I'm going to miss the fact that you're larger than life

and embracing it

with open heart

even though I will tell you

that you take half of the space

of my living room

I will miss our annual balik kampung road trips

that we've been taking since you're a tod

You're always happy

and you never take people's word

to heart

and you relish

in being called a phat boy

and proud of it

I will miss our picnics and outings and meals

and secretly feeding you extra food

when your mum ain't looking

I will miss the way

you make me feel great

about the way I look

I will miss your bragging

about having

two secret admirers

I want you to know

that you're the only male cousin

that I still hugged and let hug

even though you're all grown up now

to me you're still the chubby little boy

that I used to chase around

I pray that you're blessed
in the thereafter
I pray to Allah to give your family
the strength to move on
without you

I'm glad we had a lot of happy memories together
it made me laugh
when you added me in facebook
a day before your 18th birthday
less than 2 weeks back
just because
I only allow 18 years old and above
to be my facebook friend
never thought it would be your last

phat boy
I love you

Al-Fatihah

according to you

Yeay! Hitz FM, MixFM dan ERA dah sampai di Miri!!!!

tak payahla bergantung hidup kepada Radio Muzik semata-mata (diorang ni pun boleh tahan jugak tau)....at least banyakla lagi options lain untuk didengari...and Hitz is the only English radio station yang aku suka dengar....station lain vibe dia rasa macam dengar radio pendidikan walaupun diorang mainkan lagu pop (whatever, aku kan weird).....was listening to this song on Hitz masa lunch break tadi...sangat suke lyrics dia...enjoy...

ACCORDING TO YOU - Orianthi

According to you

I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

According to you

I'm difficult,

hard to please,

forever changing my mind.

I'm a mess in a dress,

can't show up on time,

even if it would save my life.

According to you. According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you.

According to you

I'm boring,

I'm moody,

you can't take me any place.

According to you

I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.

I'm the girl with the worst attention span;

you're the boy who puts up with that.

According to you. According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,

like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.

Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me

you're stupid,

you're useless,

you can't do anything right.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

According to you.

According to you.

According to you

I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

best kan, kan, kan?

I gave my heart. I haven't got it back.

ditto.

I'm cursed.

my body is asking me to slow down

Since SSP9599 10th year reunion in early November, my weekend has been filled with activities that the only time I get to rest is on weekdays...itu pun half of the time I will still go out after work....I'm more appreciative of the time that I get to spend at home in front of my TV...huhu...


sepanjang 2 bulan ni, there were only 2 weekends I spent at home. 


and today, finally I got sick. sakit sampai kena ambik MC.


huhu.


I have to slow down.


and think about getting settled.


I won't say that there will be no more traveling in 2010.


it will be reduced....maybe around 30-50%, for a start.


which will leave me time to contemplate about my life and my future.


until now, I pretty much don't give a damn about anything and everything.


it's about time to start thinking again.


i start this year on very positive note and feelings.


i know that i will be fine.


despite body aches, sore throat, hingus dan batuk that I'm having right now.


as for this blog, i will try to keep writing even though i'm not so much in sharing mode right now.


i'll think up of something else to write.


haha


macamla korang nak sangat baca