"Kang-kuk"

I have an aunt yang pandai mengurut. Sambil mengurut dia akan berpantun-pantun untuk memecahkan keboringan...best, sebab pantun dia klasik-klasik belaka and it's in the local Sarawak Malay... to those who know me, aku memangla suka pantun-pantun ni kan... tapi, ada satu ni je yang aku dapat tangkap...maybe I should bring a pen and paper next time aku pegi rumah dia, boleh salin apa yang patut..hehe

Pantunnya lebih kurang macam ni:

Pecah mangkuk pinggan sebelah,

Ditutup dengan sebidang kain,

Sayang kangkuk menunggu buah,

Buah ditunggu si burung lain.

Pada siapa yang tak tahu, burung kangkuk ni burung yang suka berbunyi "kang-kuk" di malam-malam hari. Burung ni duduk dalam dusun buah kot sebab mak aku cakap kalau musim buah nak berbunga tu mesti bising je bunyi burung ni malam-malam....diorang pun happy la sebab itu petanda that musim buah tahun tu akan menghasilkan buah yang banyak...nyum nyum...tak taula pulak kat Tanah Melayu sana panggil apa...

Anyway, kenapa aku paling ingat pantun ni out of beberapa pantun-pantun yang makcik aku nyanyikan? Entahla, something tugged deep in my heart...aku paham perasaan burung kangkuk tu...hahahaha... psycho.

I'll put the flowers for you to step on

I have no idea what to post for today so I went looking into my drafts. This is a note I wrote a day after I broke up on my FB notes....hancur giler hati masa tu....sebab tulah tulis macam-macam...I removed it from my FB the day after though. Since I'm 100 times ok now...so share jelah ngan korang..




I still remember my trip to South Korea with the sistas...lots of things to remember and one of it is this poem by Kim So Wol, apparently it is very popular...since you can buy it carved on a piece of rock and sold as deco in their equivalent of RM2 shop...for some reason, I still keep the words with me...this is the translation (though I think it does not really do justice to the poet who wote it beautifully in Korean)..

"If you don't love me
I will let you go without any comment
I'll put the flowers in front of you
Every step you take
Please step on the flowers

If you don't love me and go away from me
I'll never cry.."

But of course, at that time...I didn't have any idea what the future holds...I just know that regardless of how life treats you, you just have to take it on as it comes along..and see what comes next...

At the moment, I just feel tired and numb..nothing to be angry and worked up about...and I did just what Kim So Wol had written...letting go without any comment, the "flowers"...except for the last bit...eventually the tears will stop in time...like what a friend said, give your heart time to mend, but don't let it shatter...the best is yet to come, InsyaAllah

kisah cintan-cintun

while blog-walking today, by coincidence terbaca benda cintan-cintun kat blog orang lain.....since sekarang ni tengah ala-ala mode di awang-awangan....macam bestla pulak kan....so, enjoy reading!!!

Kisah Cinta Internet: http://qarlista.blogspot.com/2010/08/how-we-metmy-version.html

Ni pulak poem yang dibaca masa Chelsea Clinton punye wedding... sooo deep and beautiful, FK put it in her blog. Feels like having it printed at the back of my wedding card....hehehehe....verangansss....


The Life That I Have by Leo Marks


The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours

The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours.

you choose it,

win or lose it,

love is never quite the same,

I love you,

now I lost you,

don't feel bad,

you're not to blame

so kiss me goodbye

and I'll try not to cry

all the tears in the world

won't change your mind

this song brought me to tears...tak kisahla whether I'm singing it or playing it with the orchestra...

adododoiiiii.....just finished talking to my sister...adalah cerita nya yang membuatkan aku rasa sayu dan keliru...anyway, the best way is to just keep going on with life and make myself happy....amal, amal...berapa lama lagi nak jadi macam ni....I know I have to open my heart one day....but keeping it under covers doesn't mean I haven't move on...sometimes moving on means just to be happy with yourself, and yes, I'm happy by myself...sampai dah ke tahap melebih-lebih dah...is it because I need a proper closure? Isn't the end is the end, no matter what? 

Jika benar cinta itu masih ada dan rindu itu masih terselit di hatimu, berikan semula kepadaku agar kau tidak perlu membawanya ke mana-mana. Jodoh bukan kita yang menentukannya....aku redha dengan takdir.

Wah wah, jiwang karat la pulak aku ni. Dahla anak dara ni tak senonoh pukul 9 pagi baru bangun.....need to get up shower and discover San Antonio, peeps! Bunyi barge on the river tour kat bilik ni sudah memanggil-manggil...so, chalo!

if love is not forever, then what is forever for?

Biarkan berlalu
Semua kepedihanmu
Lelapkan matamu
Biarkan mimpi membawamu
Ke mana kau mahu
Selamat malam
Tidurlah sayangku
Siang kan tiba bercahaya
Bermula baru semua untukmu

to sum it all up....

ini jam itu hati pun ada banyak bunga-bunga.....bengong kan....sabar amalia, sabar....kontrol emosi anda...hehehehe....sekarang ni tengah jiwang dengar lagu ni....layann jela, kalau korang perasan, I added a gadget at the left top corner called Dizzler Music Player, so kalau nak dengar lagu ni, just type the title of the song at its search bar, click on the song, then play....I malas nak pasang the music player yang main lagu terus coz nanti the webpage will take a while to load....and bukannya everytime I nak dengar muzik pun...hehehe, jangan muntah pulak bila dengar lagu ni, ok.

Ne-Yo – Never Knew I Needed
(The Princess and the Frog Animated Film Soundtrack)

For the way you changed my plans

For being the perfect distraction

For the way you took the idea that I have

Of everything that I wanted to have

And made me see there was something missing

For the ending of my first begin

And for the rare and unexpected friend

For the way you’re something that I never choose

But at the same time something I don’t wanna lose

And never wanna be without ever again

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed

So now it’s so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily (ever after)

The way you slime and how you comfort me (with your laughter)

I must admit you were not a part of my book

But now if you open it up and take a look

You’re the beginning and the end of every chapter

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (that I needed)

So now it’s so clear I need you here always

Who’d knew that I’d be here (who’d knew that I’d be here)

So unexpectedly (so unexpectedly)

Undeniablely happy (hey)

Sat with you right here, right here next to me (oh)

Girl you’re the..

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (said I needed)

So when you were here I had no idea

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (needed)

So now it’s so clear I need you here always

Baby baby

Now it’s so clear I need you here always

hahahahahahhahahaaaa......bengong sudah

In the mood to write pantuns

kalau sudah langkah sederap
langkah kita langkah bermakna
kalau sudah cakap sesedap
cakap kita bercakap suka

langkah kita langkah bermakna
tidak seiring rentak pedati
cakap kita bercakap suka
tidak seiring rahsia hati

tidak seiring rentak pedati
mundar mandir di pohon jati
tidak seiring rahsia hati
mengharap takdir Rabbul 'Izzati

mundar mandir di pohon jati
bukan mangga bukan cempedak
hendak berbuah tiada bertempat
harus dibaja atas penara
mengharap takdir Rabbul 'Izzati
entah iya entahkan tidak
hendak meluah tiada kusempat
harusku bawa sampai pusara.


*mode: sewel...(tapi sikit aje...hehe)

my body is asking me to slow down

Since SSP9599 10th year reunion in early November, my weekend has been filled with activities that the only time I get to rest is on weekdays...itu pun half of the time I will still go out after work....I'm more appreciative of the time that I get to spend at home in front of my TV...huhu...


sepanjang 2 bulan ni, there were only 2 weekends I spent at home. 


and today, finally I got sick. sakit sampai kena ambik MC.


huhu.


I have to slow down.


and think about getting settled.


I won't say that there will be no more traveling in 2010.


it will be reduced....maybe around 30-50%, for a start.


which will leave me time to contemplate about my life and my future.


until now, I pretty much don't give a damn about anything and everything.


it's about time to start thinking again.


i start this year on very positive note and feelings.


i know that i will be fine.


despite body aches, sore throat, hingus dan batuk that I'm having right now.


as for this blog, i will try to keep writing even though i'm not so much in sharing mode right now.


i'll think up of something else to write.


haha


macamla korang nak sangat baca

kamek, kitak dan sidaknya

doh beladoh lanang
lanang juak di kaki dulang
molai mabok bukan setegal pinang
mabok beraie si anak urang
alopp......


siapa diberaie kamek tok?
kamek pun sik tauk...
suk kedirik jak kali

sekpala
ilek-ilek isap gam kata mek orang time matrik dolok
nang ada pun sidak ngisap gam time matrik

oh bakal gerekku
walau di mana kitak berada...
datangla carik kamek di Miri tok...
yarabi
kenja alu
apa dikerepak oleh perempuan tok kat blognya

lalekla...blog kamek sukatila kamek nak tulis apa

*peace*

love does not happen to everyone, but friendship does

kawan-kawan
kita sama-sama budak hingusan

saat aku mula kenal kalian

kawan-kawan

kita sama-sama tidur makan

kongsi mandi dan jamban

kawan-kawan

dulu kita sama-sama kena marah kan

dan di kelas kita mengutuk ketakpuasan

kawan-kawan

kita ini ibarat kugiran

bersama kita memusikkan

lagu kebahagiaan

kawan-kawan

saat malam perpisahan

kita janji untuk tidak akan

melupakan persahabatan

kawan-kawan

sejauh mana kita berjalan

setinggi mana langit digenggam

kita tetap kawan

kawan-kawan

aku sayang kalian

**pics credits to Fatma & Wieza

P/S: 10 markah for those yang berjaya teka which TV series I quoted the title from

my most favourite poem ever...

wrote it out of memory...sorryla kalau ada yang tersalah

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair

I hate the way you drive my car

I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind

I hate you so much it makes me sick

it even makes me rhyme

I hate it when you're always right

I hate it when you lie

I hate it when you make me laugh

even more when you make me cry

I hate it when you're not around

and the fact that you didn't call

but most of all...

I hate the way I don't hate you

not even a little bit

not even close

not at all...

P/S: life would be easier if I can hate you :-(

Sempurna - Andra & The BackBone

Kau begitu sempurna,
dimata ku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diri ku,
akan s’lalu memuja mu

Disetiap langkah ku, ku ‘kan s’lalu memikirkan, diri mu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan hidup ku tanpa cinta mu

[#:]
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diri ku,
tak ‘kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersama mu ku akan bisa

[Reff:]
Kau adalah darah ku
Kau adalah jantung ku
Kau adalah hidup ku, lengkapi diri ku
Oh sayangku kau begitu,
sempurna, sempurna~

Kau genggam tangan ku,
saat diri ku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata,
dan hapus semua sesal ku

[#] ~~ [Reff]

Kau adalah darah ku
Kau adalah jantung ku
Kau adalah hidup ku, lengkapi diri ku
Oh sayangku kau begitu,
Sayangku kau begitu,
sempurna, sempurna~




P/S: hehehhehe....cair

selamat pagi

Tanya hati, apa cinta
Jawab hati, cinta dalam jiwa

Tanya hati, apa sayang
Ia nampak dipandang

*from the film 'Anak Halal'

Cinta

Cinta itu ada 3 jenis:

1. Cinta yang terang
2. Cinta yang samar
3. Cinta yang tak nampak

~sigh

M.O.O.N

Bisikku pada bulan
Kembalikan temanku,
Kekasihku, syurgaku

Tanpa dia malam menemaniku
Sepi memelukku

Malam jangan biar siang
Biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi sepertiku

**from Kabir Bhatia's 'Sepi'


P/S: puisi ni takde kaitan dengan my state of emotion sekarang....akan tetapi, saya rindu Miri...sedikit.

The song in my head since yesterday...

Aku bisa menjadi
Raja yang paling ditakuti
Aku bisa taklukkan
Segala bangsa di dunia
Tapi apa artinya bila kau tak cinta

Apa artinya dunia yang bisa kugenggam
Bila tak ada cinta darimu untukku
Aku bukanlah siapa siapa
Bila tak ada cinta darimu untukku

Aku bisa melayang
Terbang di atas awan awan
Aku bisa selami lautan
Paling terdalam di dunia
Tapi apa artinya
Bila kau tak cinta

Apa artinya dunia yang bisa kugenggam
Bila tak ada cinta darimu untukku
Aku bukanlah siapa siapa
Bila tak ada cinta darimu untukku

*The Rock - Aku Bukan Siapa-Siapa

ABC...

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTVWXYZ

Notice anything that’s missing?

U

Yes, I miss u, even though u might not care about me anymore.

I’m suddenly reminded of the roller coaster ride.

Of all the things that happened. Bitter or sweet.

Of how I can’t forget u, regardless of how much I tried.

Of how I still manage to think of u, even though I’m happy now.

Of how, every time I pray to God for a sign, it will always be u that I see.

Despite everything, I’m surprised for the calmness in my heart. Not hoping for anything, but just cool, calm and confident.

My heart misses u.


P/s: pathetic

daym....

Let the truth be told. I’m still not quite over Mr X. It is supposed to be a clean breakup, but how clean can it be, when some of my possessions (books, SLR, photo CD) are still with him and some of his are still with me? The material things don’t really matter, but if I don’t have a place in his heart anymore, why should my things be in his place?

It has been more than 4 months now, but I’m still not quite able to give chance for other people to win my heart....which if I look at it in a positive way, is a good thing meaning that I’m not desperate. In fact, I’m happy –er, which shows in the gradually tightening of my pants…(oops, somebody need to workout).

Even though my closest friends don’t believe this, I last shed a tear for Mr X on March 31st 2009, because I decided that is as much as I want to waste my tears on. However, “luka di tangan nampak berdarah, luka di hati siapa tahu”….it was hard. But people around the world have survived far worse than this. So why can’t I? The saddest moment after the breakup was when I met his mother. Sedih siot. Tapi, apa boleh buat, takde jodoh for now….I’m just keeping things in good term for the sake of silaturrahim, and the best is yet to come. From MIKA's Lollipop - "Live your life till love is found, coz love's gonna get you down".

Apa kena kariku ini,
Sekejap masin sekejap tawar;
Apa kena hatiku ini,
Sekejap nangis, sekejap ketawa.

mega mendung di angkasa

I decided to have a boring weekend....doing nothing much....yelah, penat jugak selama ni weekend banyak aktiviti...and this is my first weekend since dear little sister left Miri for a new job, so I'm a bit off mood.

Friday after work, went for jogging/brisk walk at the beach....5km --> 1 jam. Which made me worried about joining the marathon in October....then 'makan tanpa niat' kat pasar malam...there goes my jogging...

Saturday, duduk kat rumah the whole day. Clean the house a little bit, do laundry, tengok TV, makan dan tidur. sOOOOO lazy to go out that I even cooked for myself....nasib baik ada cili kat dalam peti ais...bolehla buat sambal bodoh dengan udang kering....tumbuk bawang, cili and udang together...tumis, dan makan dengan bubur...lazattt jugak....tapi, last² bila perut lapar lagi sekali petang tu dan cili dah habis, I had to drag myself out of the house and went for dinner at Sembang² Cafe with a long time friend....then, I decided to stock up my fridge so I don't have to go hungry again...so, since my friend ask me when I'm going to invite him to my house for makan, I said, "tomorrow", then quickly texted some of my regular friends to come for late lunch on Sunday.

After dinner, balik rumah just in time for Cerekarama @ TV3. However, TV3 is having a tribute for the late Yasmin Ahmad (a very talented filmmaker)...they're showing "Mukhsin"...I like that movie...since the first time I watched it, my most favorite scene is where the young Orked is dancing with her mother in the rain...and there's this beautiful song in the background sang by Adibah Noor...the song was played again at the rolling credits in the end, so I took the liberty of having a pair of sharp ears and quickwriting skills to copy the lyrics.....

Mega mendung di angkasa

Hembusan bayu kini terasa

Gerimis berderai di merata

Bagai mutiara

Rahmat dibawa bersama

Limpahannya meresap di jiwa

Adakala bahgia dirasa

Meskipun duka nestapa

Tika hujan turun

Sayup menyanyi lagu keroncong

Merdu irama dialun

Bersenandung

Hujan membasahi bumi

Melahirkan keluhuran budi

Mengerat perpaduan suci

Kasih sayang abadi

Sweet kan? Al-Fatihah to Allahyarhamah Yasmin Ahmad. Some people might not agree on your views, tapi siapa kita untuk menghakimi kerana Allah Maha Mengetahui, Pengampun dan Penyayang.

Come Sunday. It took a great deal to get myself out of the house to do groceries shopping. Dahlah Boulevard penuh manusia, parking pun susah. Anyway, saya telah memasak dengan jayanya and have a week's stock of food.

And, before I know it....Monday is here again...~sigh. I need to find the meaning of my life.


P/S: Mr Right, where are you?

P/S: buat penat je saya salin lagu tu...berlambak kat internet rupanya org lain dah tulis