pulanglah...

walau sejauh mana kaki melangkah...ingatlah orang-orang yang anda sayang...ibu bapa, adik beradik...bla bla bla...pulanglah ke rumah

apalah guna dunia yang bisa digenggam, bila tak ada cinta dan kasih sayang keluarga...(I said this sebab belum punya kekasih)....

pulanglah, pulanglah...kalau AirAsia mahal...gunalah MAS Get-the-Deal...promotion Balik Kampung Hari-Hari....

mommy, daddy, even though I don't call home often....I really, really love you both.

adik-adik pun begitu.

and I can't wait for the delicious, sumptious seafood dinner next weekend...

ooh la la!


* I look at my flight schedule tadi....year to date, I've flown 14 times....gonna do it again insyaAllah 9 times in May , 7 times in June.. July is a bit packed as well....bulan puasa insaf sekejap la....thank God I haven't planned anything for next year. 2011 nak relax sikit and cari boyfriend. Hahahahaha. 2010 is indeed gonna be a great year (even though I won't be getting my promotion)!

Expedia is the word of the day

The thing about being a cheap flight hunter is you'll get so heartbroken when the best deal get out of your hands....even though the second best is still pretty damn good. In some circumstances, it might be the "penny wise, pound foolish" case. And it is really a risk game to play. Money is at stake here since most of the cheapies are non-refundable.

So, dear readers....I've already bought my Houston-New York flight tickets. Gonna fly Continental Airlines. What sucks is the fare was only $267 when I checked last night and this morning. If only I'm not that indecisive and terhegeh-hegeh, I wouldn't need to pay $337 for that. Dahla kena bayar for check-in luggage some more. Haish....

That's it la...if by some reasons, my course is canceled....I'm gonna be screwed. Dahla expenses from previous trip to Aussie belum clear sepenuhnya lagi.....insyaAllah, rezeki sentiasa ada. Will lelong some things on e-bay soon. Ha ha.

How do I look?

A good thing about traveling is it puts my mind off my worries. I feel full of energy and carefree. And sometimes, at the height of the carefree-ness, I don’t wear my scarves. Ooops.


Yes, aku bukannya alim sangat. Every once in a while, especially masa jalan-jalan, I took off my tudung, tapi tak selalu la…kadang-kadang je. Dan bukannya sebab nak melawa pun….tapi sebab malas…maybe sebab dah pakai baju berlapis-lapis…or gatal nak merasa pakai scarf, mittens, beanie segala…or sebab nak jalan dekat-dekat je….on theses few instances when these happened, I came across these situations:

Situation 1 – South Korea
The Korean women at a restaurant that we went too told our host that she thinks I’m a Korean. Sangatla saya tak paham.

Situation 2 – Brisbane
I was walking at the open market at Eagle St Pier, looking at some blouses. The shop owner talked to me in something that I couldn’t understand. I said, “huh?”… She thought I’m from Thailand and she just spoke to me in Thai. Too bad I don’t have the petite figure like most Thai women (and transvestites) have, or otherwise I might have bought a blouse or dress from her.

Situation 3 – Surfers’ Paradise
I went for last minute souvenir shopping at a gift shop just down the street from the hotel. The towkay was entertaining a couple from Indonesia who wants to buy kangaroo leather wallets. The Indonesian couple is actually Chinese and the towkay is either from Malaysia or Indonesia. They were conversing in Bahasa. When I came to make my purchases, towkay immediately switched to English to speak to me. Terbantut hasrat aku nak beramah mesra dengannya.

Situation 4 – Cambodia
This has got nothing to do with me….but my brother la….he really fits in these 2 countries…even our tuk-tuk driver talked to him in Khmer and a Khmer guy who sat next to him in the bus shared his food with him. He called himself Maddox because of that.


So, how do I look? "Amalia, truly Asia"?

H.O.L.A

Hola! I'm back! Tired, sunburnt and I got break outs all over my face....will write later.... ;P

travel notes: Cambodia & Vietnam

need to get this done before I can go traveling!

DESTINATION: Siem Reap – Phnom Penh – Ho Chi Minh City (29 Nov – 5 Dec 2009)

GETTING THERE AND AROUND:

Miri – Kuching – Kuala Lumpur – Siem Reap: AirAsia

Siem Reap – Phnom Penh: 

bus – I will forever remember this bus journey as the ‘hell-iest’ bus ride I’ve ever been on….the so-called National Highway is full of potholes…the bus is some kind of a double storey bus with spaces for storage below. My seat is at where the tyre is so I can feel every bumps on the road. Not to mention the aircond is not working properly, so I feel suffocated (no windows either). What made it worse was the so-called “in-flight entertainment”. I was excited to see that they’re playing George of the Jungle, but crushed when it is dubbed in their language. It’s not exactly soft spoken like the hotel staffs, you know. The “icing-on-the-cake” is the blaringly loud speaker that is located right at my ear! I had to live in agony and temperamental state of mind for 6 hours, but at USD5, it’s the cheapest way to get to Phnom Penh.

Phnom Penh – Ho Chi Minh City: 

PP Sorya Transport Company bus. It’s the only bus company that provides non-stop bus service to HCMC, for the others you have to change bus at the Bavet-Moc Bai border. There is a person in charge that will assist you and they also provide mineral water. I was expecting the worst after the previous bus journey, but it turned out to be an enjoyable one. At USD10, they fulfilled their promise of good service (one of them is no chickens are allowed onboard). The road conditions are much better, being built by the Americans, after the Vietnam War.

Ho Chi Minh – Kuala Lumpur – Miri: Air Asia (was very lucky to get RM0 for the HCMC-KL leg for this trip!)

Around Siem Reap: 

Bicycle – it’s a bit awkward at first because they drive on a different side than us and I’m not quite sure what the rules are, but Siem Reap is very easy to cycle around.

Tuk-tuk – a motorcycle-drawn carriage that can carry up to 4 people. You can negotiate with the tuk-tuk driver and get them to bring you around Siem Reap for USD8-10 per day.

Car/taxi/van: Since there are 5 of us, we took an air-conditioned van for one whole day to visit the temples of Angkor and other attractions for USD25 a day.

Else, you can just ride at the back of a motorcycle for USD1!

Around Phnom Penh:

We only took tuk-tuks. The going rates are slightly higher than Siem Reap, so put your negotiation skills to good use! When you got down from the bus from Siem Reap, disoriented and grumpy, then you will be bombarded with tuk-tuk drivers. Take a deep breath and if you couldn’t find a good deal (in our case, one of the tuk-tuk guys insulted us by saying that we don’t have money, coming from Malaysia)….just walk to the next block and find a different one. Chances are it will be a lot cheaper (even though you might only find one, and have to be jam-packed into one tuk-tuk, 5 large sized people with bags!). The fare from point to point within Phnom Penh city itself is USD5, but if u want to go as far as the Cheung Ek Killing Fields, it will cost about USD20 return. 

Around Ho Chi Minh City:

Except for the tour bus that we took to the Cu Chi Tunnels, we just walked everywhere. Oh yeah, taxi fare to the airport is cheap and it’s metered.

THINGS TO DO:

Siem Reap in 3 Days

Visit Angkor Temples – One-day temple pass costs USD20 per person, and you can use it to watch the sunset until sunset on the next day. No need to prepare passport photos. They will take a photo of you when you buy the pass. Each of the temples have their own unique-ness and story, so do a little bit of research and decide which temples you want to spend more time on.

Visit Cambodia Cultural Village. I just love this place! At USD11 per person, it is more worthy than going to the Angkor Museum (USD12). It’s a living museum with displays of the different ethnic groups in Cambodia. There are also live performances throughout the day.

Visit floating village and flooded forest: We paid USD20 each for the boat ride and tour of Khmpong Phluk. But honestly, I think it’s better to just go to Chong Kneas and cheaper. The boat stopped us at the village itself and we visited a school there. We were “coerced” to buy pencils and exercise books for the school kids. My advice is, if you really want to be a Good Samaritan here, buy the exercise books and pencils back home, as the price that they sold to us is ridiculous. Anyway, I don’t really mind it when I saw that the lady who sold us the exercise books was finally able to go home with the sick child after making us part with our dollars….plus the chance to interact with the locals are priceless!

Shop: Angkor Night Market and Psar Cha (Old Market). I just love the vibrant colours of the markets. Souvenir T-shirts are cheap here and of good quality material. It’s only USD2-3 for one T-shirt. The colourful traditional Khmer headscarves (kroma) is also a must buy as both guys and girls can wear them.

Phnom Penh in a Day

Visit National Museum – the relics from the Angkor Wat are displayed here, it’s a very beautiful red building and the entrance fee is cheap (USD3).

Walk along Sisowath Quay. It’s a long waterfront facing the Tonle Sap River. Good place to take pictures.

Visit Royal Palace.

Visit Wat Phnom: it’s a temple on a hill. A lady called Penh found something (was it a golden bell? a Buddha statue?) in the tree that floated in the nearby river, and built/founded a temple on the hill. That’s how Phnom Penh got its name. I think “Phnom” means hill. I need to check my facts as I only heard it from our guide at the cultural village.

Visit Toul Sleng Genocide Museum. It used to be a high school before it was turned into a prison during the Khmer Rouge era. A lot of sad things happened here. Imagine all the tortured souls who have walked along the corridors.

Visit Chung Euk Killing Fields. We got a tour guide who experienced losing all his family members during the Khmer Rouge time. He told us before the memorial (that house the skulls and bones) were built, he could listen to the cries of the tormented souls at night. It is such a sad and depressing place to be in. Too many people were killed at this place that you still could see pieces of clothes and bones fragments on the ground. Sad, sad, sad.

Ho Chi Minh City in 2 Days

Visit Cu Chi Tunnels: Since our time is limited we went for the half-day tour. Our tour guide is a Vietnamese war veteran (he’s Vietnamese by the way, but fought on the US side). I was amazed at how resourceful and clever the Vietcong were, despite their lack of technology. But the pro-US tour guide made us see things from his side, which is also interesting. (Tour bus to Cu Chi – USD5, entrance fee – USD4)

Visit War Remnants Museum: if you want to feel angrier after the visit to the tunnels. (entrance fee: USD 0.80 – can’t remember how much is it in dongs.)

Walk around the city on foot. No worries about the traffic coz the motorists know how to avoid you. But of course, it’s common sense to be vigilant. J

Have a drink on top of Sheraton Saigon: it’s the tallest point where you can have a bird eye view of Ho Chi Minh City. The city at night is so amazing with all the lights from the buildings, cars and motorcycles alike. The drink (fruit juice) costs USD6 each, and nobody actually cares that much about your appearance (hey, I spent the whole day walking and visiting places, what do you expect I should look?) as long as you can pay for it.

Shop at the night market and Ben Tanh Market. Apparently, Malaysians do a lot of shopping here. Most of the traders here know a little bit of Malay like “beli”, “belanja”, “murah”, “lima puluh ringgit”. I went crazy looking at all kind of bags that I laid my eyes on. ~Sigh.

Go for the Mekong Delta Cruise: we didn’t have enough time to do this though. Another reason to come back. Maybe will travel from Hanoi and go all the way down to Ho Chi Minh city for the next Vietnam trip. 

WHERE TO EAT:

Siem Reap

It is generally cheap to eat in Cambodia, if you don’t go to a proper restaurant, but the problem is (a) halal-ness, (b) the fact that you are charged 4 times higher because you’re a tourist…yeah I know, that’s how much the difference is when we asked our tuk-tuk driver to buy canned drinks for us.

As most of the time we ate in halal Indian restaurants, this is the longest period of time where I had to survive on briyani almost every day. When briyani is hard to find, we opted for vegetarian meals.

Some of the places we ate in Siem Reap:

• - Kentucky Fried Chicken: yes dear, your favorite KFC is here and it is certified halal (in Cambodia, not Vietnam). 
• - Curry Walla: there’s a couple of these restaurants in Siem Reap. A meal with drink costs around USD4 but the gourmet factor is so-so.
• - Maharajah: the food here at least did honor the name – it fits for a king! The price is almost double that of the Curry Walla though.
• - Traditional Cambodian dishes – we went to this nice restaurant that serves local dishes. The fish “amok” is nice, taste like the ‘masak lodeh’ a bit. Your driver would most likely recommend you to go to a fancy buffet dinner with apsara dance performance et al. The choice is yours.
• - Stalls at Angkor Wat area – breakfast starts at USD3, and they are just your usual kampong stalls with questionable hygienic practices.
• - Café de la Paix – we went here for ice creams (Lonely Planet’s recommendation). It’s in the Hotel de la Paix and they also serve breakfast ala Carte. Guess what? The price is similar to the kampong stalls with questionable hygienic practices. But who can blame the locals for trying to make a living out of the flocks of tourist that come to their country?

Phnom Penh

The best food that I had during this trip is in Phnom Penh! Since it’s just a short one-day stop in Phnom Penh, we only managed to eat at these two places:

• - Friends: Lonely Planet recommends this as well. They served Asian and western cuisine. The food is delicious! This restaurant is opened by Mith Samlanh in effort to reduce the number of street children and teach them skills on hospitality and culinary. Next to the restaurant is a school/academy where they learn and there’s also a gift shop where their crafts are sold. The ambiance and décor of the restaurant is very lively and you may have to book ahead to avoid disappointment.
• - Boddhi Tree Umma: this place is located across the small road from the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum, so it is already a popular place to eat. They have a large variety for vegetarian selections and they are all yummy! Boddhi Tree is also an association that helps street kids. We ate here all the time when we were in Phnom Penh (except for the one time in Friends) because it’s just so mouthwatering licking good!

Ho Chi Minh City

• - Taj Mahal: the food is delicious and reasonably priced. It’s mentioned in the guidebook and it’s exactly 25 steps (my steps) from the place where we stayed.
• - VN Halal: a good place to try halal Vietnamese cuisine like pho, the beef noodle. A bit pricey, but the food is good and nice.
• - Mumtaz: Lonely Planet recommendation. Enough said.
• - Try the Vietnamese coffee. I’m not a coffee drinker, but I love it! That should be a good thing, right?

SLEEP: 

During traveling, it is very important for me to have a good sleep. After tiring myself the whole day, a good quality sleep is crucial, or otherwise I’ll turn into one grumpy Godzilla. Therefore, I try to choose a budget accommodation with maximum comfort at a lowest price as possible. For this trip, I budgeted for USD9 per person per night for accommodation.

Siem Reap

Golden Temple Villa – nice, clean place. They offered free 20 min massage, which came very useful after a full day exploring the temples, and if you want more it’s only USD3 per hour! The only minus point is the room does not come with breakfast. However, they have a nice restaurant downstairs and free drinks and bananas all day round. (Rates: USD18 / double room, USD30 / triple room with A/C, attached bathroom, cable TV. Cheaper for the fan only room). Near to a masjid. Bicycles are free of charge. Free WiFi on every floor, computers for use at lobby.

www.goldentemplevilla.com

Jasmine Lodge – this option is a lot cheaper (only half of the price of GTV). We can get a basic room, with fan and attached bathroom for USD8 per night with breakfast. I was really torn between choosing this one or GTV as over the period of my planning for this trip, Mr Kunn, the owner has been sort of a friend. In the end, I chose GTV but use the van services from Mr Kunn. 

www.jasminelodge.com

Phnom Penh

Boddhi Tree Umma – as I mentioned before, the Boddhi Tree is an association that helps street youths. This is a really great place to stay. The room is spacious and classic, and free WiFi connection is provided. It costs us USD14 (double room, fan, shared bathroom). The only thing is it’s right in front of Toul Sleng Genocide Museum. If you have an overactive imagination, it gets creepy at night. But then, it’s part of the adventure, right?

www.boddhitree.com

Vy Khanh Guesthouse

I was looking for a place in HCMC that costs less than USD9 per person and have good reviews. I found this on Hostelworld. The proprietor is avery friendly, sweet and helpful lady. We even exchanged our money with her and she gavce us good rates. She also took us to buy coffee to bring back at such a cheap price!. The place is basic and very clean, and it’s located in the Pham Ngu Lao (District 1) area.

I hope you will find it useful!

packing

before that:

- make sure the house is left in a presentable condition
- unplug all power sockets
- windows & doors locked
- take out all the trash by Friday
- lipat baju and do laundry

things to bring

- sunglasses
- one pair of jeans
- one pair of seluar tidur
- 2 pairs of T-shirts
- 2 pairs of blouses
- scarfs
- flip-flop
- toiletries
- basic makeup kit
- chargers for camera and handphone
- a storybook
- undies
- print out all the tickets that were bought online
- telekung
- decide which bag to carry around....my trusted, worn purple Nike sling bag...or the stripy colourful tote..
- what else huh?
- email hotel with special request for the room arrangement

this is why I like to prepare earlier before going for the trip, because nearer to departure...I sort of refuse to think at all!

sasau

hati guwe tidak keruan hari ini

aduiiii

takde moodla nak pegi main squasy today

need to go

and pop some happy pills

huhuhuhuu

what should I do with the feelings that I have inside?



i can't get you out of my head
i never thought you would have this effect on me

travel notes: Java Trip

Whenever I travelled, I keep a notebook handy to write the highlights/lowlights of the day as well as the expenses I've made. I have also made a resolution to blog about my travels some time ago, but never got around to it. Hmmmm, turns out that to write it all back is another thing. My penchant for details makes me want to write as long as possible, like a lot of bloggers do. But practicality urges me to keep it simple....so here's presenting you...my first traveller's tale to....

DESTINATION: Jakarta – Jogja – Bandung – Jakarta (16 – 23 July 2009)

GETTING THERE AND AROUND:

Miri – Kuching – Jakarta : AirAsia (now the KCH-CGK route is no longer active)

Jakarta – Jogja : AirAsia (it was cheap at that time)

Jogja – Bandung: overnight train (8 hours journey)

Bandung – Jakarta: train (2 – 3 hours journey)

Jakarta – Kuching – Miri: AirAsia

Around Jakarta: bajaj (cheapest), taxi, walk

Around Jogja: becak (trishaw), delman (horse drawn carriage), taxi, walk

Around Bandung: angkot (van/minibus), however during our trip Pak Alif and Mbak Sari are very kind to take us around.. ;)

From Jogja to Borobudur: if you are traveling in a big group, it’s cheaper and faster to rent a car complete with the driver….however we took the el-cheapo way….took the cowboy bus, mingle with the locals and the chickens….journey took about 2 hours, and if there’s an old lady in need of a seat, give up your seat and stand all the way. The fare is only Rp10,000.

Tips: Unless it is a metered taxi, do negotiate the fare before you jump in. The Lonely Planet guide provides a guideline of how much should the fare be.

 

THINGS TO DO:

 

Jakarta

Didn’t have enough time to explore Jakarta. We only managed to visit Monas (entrance fee: Rp8,000). When we returned back to Jakarta, before going home, we went to Pasar Pagi, ITC and another mall.

Jogja

Visit Keraton (entrance fee: Rp12,500)

Visit Taman Sari (guide: Rp25,000)

Parang Tritis Beach

Visit Borobudur – World Heritage Site. Should I say more? The sunrise view is a must see. When we were there, Borobudur International Festival was on. So, there’s a lot of things going on at night. Roadshows, cultural performances. (Entrance free to watch sunrise – Rp100,000)

Visit Prambanan – another WHS, didn’t have time to visit this as well, another reason to come back… ;)

Ramayana Ballet – watched this in the open theatre downtown Jogja…the show has been going on for more than 20 years and it still receives remarkable remarks. The same show is also aired live at the Prambanan on selected dates. (Rp140,000 – without dinner)

SHOP: Didn’t spend much time to do shopping either: Spend about an hour at Kota Gede to buy some silver jewelleries (love the design!) and then shop for batik and souvenirs at Mirota Batik.

Bandung

 

Visit Tangkuban Perahu….just a light hike and walk around the vicinity. Save the more adventurous plan for next time.

 

Shop Shop Shop: Pasar Baru, Rumah Mode, need I say more? Didn’t buy much though.

FOOD & DRINKS:

I’m not much of a foodie when I travel….because (a) all the excitement makes me think less about food and (b) my stomach easily get upset if I tried anything unfamiliar. However, the best thing about traveling in Indonesia is, the food is superb! Here are a list of our less-than-adventurous food galore:

- Bakso (kat Miri pun ada)

- Nasi Padang (kat Miri pun ada)

- A&W (sebab kat Miri tak ada)

- Beard Papa’s – cream puffs with different kind of fillings, they even have durian and nangka (jackfruit) fillings…yummy!

- Siew Mai Bandung: nice, I like the sauce

- Durian ice cream and durian coffee (I didn’t try them though)

- Ayam kampong..

- Gudeg – a dish that is a signature to Jogja…similar to our gulai nangka…

- Dawet – a traditional drink served with coconut milk (I, however, opted for coffee)

- Terang bulan (in Bandung) – it’s actually similar to apam balik but the texture is a bit thicker….you can choose what filling you would like….I had the chocolate + cheese…it’s all cheesy-gooey and chocolatey! If you ask for apam balik though, you’ll get something similar to our murtabak. J

- Bubur Ayam: it’s quite famous in Bandung, but we didn’t manage to try it.

- Teh botol: Sosro might be the favorite, but my preference is Frestea. Nicer and milder.

 

SLEEP:

Jakarta

Le Margot Hotel, Jalan Jaksa – this street has been long known as the backpacker’s heart in Jakarta. We arrived there at nearly 1 am and the atmosphere is still very lively. The hotel is nice and clean and spacious, although no lift available. The fried rice they served at breakfast is simple but tasty. (Rate: Rp220,000/night for a double room with A/C and ensuite bathroom).

 

Sparks Hotel – we stayed here on our last day in Indonesia. It’s a spunky new hotel in Jakarta’s Chinatown area. I booked it because it looks interesting, colourful and recommended in AirAsia Go Holiday website. The hotel also boasts a spa, karaoke facilities and a music lounge. The live music was great, but between performances there will be sexy dancers performance. You should go there yourself, because I’m not going to write about it here. And women, don’t bother going to the spa. The room is so comfortable (albeit naughty) and the breakfast offers a good selection. (Rate: Rp450,000 per night – yes, we decided to splurge on the last day).

 

Tips: If you come to Jakarta for shopping, just stay in one of the hotels in Mangga Dua area.

 

Jogja

 

Duta Hotel, Prawirotaman: this is a really really nice budget boutique hotel…. the fried rice they served for breakfast is the best that I had during this trip. Free internet, nice ambiance, it’s located on a street lined with travel agents and budget hotels with characters. There’s also live music nearby and a great place to have coffee, which is called, of course: Ministry of Coffee (it is also a budget boutique hotel). Another backpackers hot spot is along Jalan Malioboro, but I would prefer to stay in Prawirotaman anytime, because it’s not as busy, and still within walking distance to the interesting sights. (Rate: Rp160,000/night with A/C and ensuite bathroom).

Borobudur

Manohara Hotel: it’s the only hotel within the Borobudur compound. So at night, you can enjoy dinner or a walk taking in the view and the serene-ness of the surrounding. Imagine how it would be like to walk the steps hundreds of years ago. The price of the entrance fees is included in the room rate. You get to use the bicycles free of charge as well. The breakfast spread is good. (Rate: USD48 per night for standard room).

Tips: If you have the time, try to compare the rates from different booking websites. Sometimes, the price difference can go up to RM100!

Bandung:

Hotel Kenangan: Simple, clean, nice, very spacious, 200m from Bandung train station, next to Gedung Sate, 10-15 minutes walk to Pasar Baru and last but not least, cheap. (Rate: Rp200,000/night with A/C and ensuite bathroom).

*exchange rate: RM1 = Rp2,700

I hope you will find it useful!

kalau sudah namanya tak sedar diri....

got it from PostSecret website:

MEN...!

Perihal Hidup & Teman

Seorang wanita yang baru kehilangan suami selepas 35 tahun hidup bersama. Katanya, “Aku merindui suamiku. Pada saat dia mula dimasukkan ke hospital, kesunyian sudah mula menyelubungiku. Aku rindu akan rutin kami berdua. Aku rindu untuk bergaduh (kecil) dengannya tentang perkara-perkara remeh, seperti apa yang patut dimasak untuk makan tengahari. Kini, dia telah pergi untuk selamanya. Aku sunyi. Aku sepi”

Seorang rakan yang menempuh hidup keseorangan meluahkan rasanya, “Aku pernah merasai hidup berumahtangga dan dikelilingi teman-teman. Kini, aku berada di tempat yang baru lagi asing. Untuk pulang ke rumah yang kosong dan suram adalah satu keresahan bagiku.”

Ini baru sedikit dari entah berapa banyak keluh kesah dalam hidup manusia. Sebagai seorang insan, adalah lumrah dan fitrah untuk hidup berteman. Secara umumnya, manusia punya rasa takut untuk berseorangan. Saya pun tidak terkecuali, dan oleh kerana itulah, saya sering menghabiskan masa terluang bersama teman-teman yang juga belum berpasangan seperti saya.

“Engkau mungkin belum tahu, kerana engkau belum mengalami apa yang aku rasai. Engkau belum melihat apa yang aku telah lihat. Aku mengambil jalan yang orang lain tak berani ambil. Aku memilih penceraian dari hidup tanpa sefahaman. Agak radikal berbanding teman-temanku yang memilih untuk terus hidup dalam ikatan yang sudah tidak membahgiakan, kerana mereka takut akan kesunyian.” Walaupun pandangan saya mungkin berbeda, namun sebagai seorang yang berzodiak Libra dengan dacing sebagai simbolnya, saya dapat memahami sedikit sebanyak mengapa si polan ini berkata sedemikian.

“Jikalau kau mencari seorang sahabat, lihatlah ke dalam matanya dan kau akan nampak seorang sahabat. Jikalau cinta yang kau cari, sinarnya mungkin sirna dimamah waktu. Aku mencintai isteriku kerana dia sahabatku, pendampingku, kekuatanku, kasih dan nyawaku.” Lagi satu persepsi berbeza.

Memetik puisi Kahlil Gibran yang dideklamasikan di dalam filem ‘Sepi’ :


Bisikku pada bulan
Kembalikan temanku,
Kekasihku, syurgaku

Tanpa dia malam menemaniku
Sepi memelukku

Bulan jangan biar siang
Biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi sepertiku


Ya, saya juga merasakan yang saya akan sepi, di saat perhubungan yang terjalin terputus di tengah jalan. Di kala itu, terasa ingin cepat mencari pengganti untuk mengisi kekosongan hati. Namun, kata-kata seorang teman yang pernah melalui kekecewaan yang sama mengingatkan saya, “Kalau kau fikir kau akan berseorangan, ingatlah bahawa Tuhan sentiasa ada bersamamu. Sesungguhnya, kau tidak keseorangan.” Kata-kata itu saya pegang, dan saya sedaya upaya cuba untuk bangkit ceria kembali tanpa cinta. Mujur ada rakan-rakan di sekeliling yang menghiburkan hati, sehingga saya dapat membuat pertimbangan tanpa dipengaruhi oleh emosi.

Hasilnya, saya lebih gembira dan tenang sekarang. Tidak perlu resah memikirkan masalah berkaitan cinta. Kata seorang teman yang lain, “Cinta itu sepatutnya buat kamu gembira, kalau lebih banyak berduka, tiada maknanya bercinta.” Saya setuju akan kata-katanya, sudah banyak saya membaca (walau mungkin agak ‘biased’ sedikit) akan wanita yang sanggup menderita emosi, zahir dan batin hanya kerana terlalu cintakan seseorang.

Seorang lagi insan yang saya kenal, cantik, bijak, baik hati, tapi memilih untuk hidup berseorangan berkata, “Mengapa perlu mencurahkan sepenuh kasih sayang kepada seseorang jika akhirnya kamu tau orang itu pasti akan meninggalkanmu? Mengapa perlu diamkan sahaja jika seseorang itu tidak melayanmu dengan baik? Tidakkah kamu rasa kamu mempunyai hak untuk itu?” Ini pun saya setuju. Cuma bagi saya, tak salah kalau bersabar sedikit, tapi harus tahu meletakkan had. Keyakinan diri, kalau sekali ia hancur, boleh mendatangkan trauma.

Pendapat saya tentang cinta? Dari dulu hingga sekarang, saya menganggap cinta itu satu keinginan untuk berteman. Dan perkahwinan adalah satu komitmen untuk menjadi teman kepada pasangan kita hingga akhir usia. Oleh sebab itulah, saya mendambakan seseorang yang menganggap saya sebagai temannya dan mahu bersama saya walau apa pun halangan dan dugaan menimpa. Bukannya seseorang yang bersama saya kerana saya ada pada saat dia mencari seseorang untuk mengisi kesunyian hidupnya. Wahai hati, bertenanglah. Tidak perlu gusar.

Somebody sent me this recently…”What if, I’ve gone bad, would you still love me? What if, I’ve gone astray, would you still lead me? What if, I’m weak, would you still give strength? What if I’m dead tomorrow, would you still remember me?” Jawapan saya, “I always have a place for you in my heart, I will lead you, give you strength and remember you, but I don’t think we are meant to be together.”

Nota ini ditulis hampir 8 bulan yang lepas rupanya. Sekarang sudah April. 2010. Sedang saya menyelak-nyelak fail-fail Microsoft Word yang saya simpan hasil “scribbling” di saat kebosanan, saya mendapati ada beberapa tulisan yang saya belum ‘publish’ di blog atau nota FB….ya kawan-kawan, saya simpan apa yang saya tulis. Pertama, sebab menulis itu terapi. Kedua, mana tahu ada orang nak terbitkan hasil penulisan saya yang huru-hara ini. Ha ha ha.


Oh ya, membaca kembali tulisan ini, hati terasa ingin menokok tambah lagi kerana banyak perkara dan pengalaman yang telah berlaku dan sedikit sebanyak memperkukuh dan mendewasakan diri. Juga belajar menghargai nilai sebuah kesabaran. But since I’m not in the mood to get mellow, let’s just publish this for this time, adieu.

Death is certain, life is not. Don’t worry too much about whatever that is in between.

of pick up lines...

guwe sudah bosan dengan ayat-ayat seperti ini...

"Hi, boleh berkenalan?"

"Dah makan ke belum?" - ayat yang paling guwe anti melainkan kalau disusuli dengan "Jom, makan."

"Does it hurt...when you fall from the skies? Coz only angels can shine the way like you do." Bleargghhh...

"Hi adik kakak manis, jom pegi dating..." so, you wanna be my brother, jom...

tapi, kalau ayat macam ni....

"semasa leka menguyah roti bakar dan menghirup kopi kurang manis itu,tiba-tiba hatiku berdebar2 seolah-olah mendpt alamat yg tidak baik..setiap helaian akhbar ku selak..semakin jantungku berdebar-debar.."oh tidak..ni mcm perasaan gua first time nk berdating centa monyet dulu2..gua pun dah mcm monyet dah ketika itu terkinja2 menunggu centa yg tidak kesampaian sudahnya..baik pegi zoo bg monyet makan pisang,lg besttt"..ujar gua yg naif ketika itu..kenapa ni?!..kopi sudah berasa tawar,roti plk mcm lemau..mataku berpinau,kepalaku berpusing mcm gasing,degupan jantungku semakin laju spt lajunya keta polis peronda mengejar samseng jalanan..hmm..setiba helaian yg terakhir,bru gua perasan.."adooiii..mana sport section paper nie?!?!..damneddd,xkan tercicir kot.."..gua betul2 panas,lain kali gua beli paper kt kedai lainlah..bukan newspaper klu tadak sport section!!..buat hal betul..utk menunjukkan rasa protes,gua pun membayar segala ongkos bfast dan mensedekahkan surat khabar itu kpd tokey restoran mamak itu..tidak cukup dgn itu,gua bersumpah seminggu nih gua xkan baca paper..apatah lg nk menyelak kolum sukan,my sunday monin dah jd x best psl benda camnih,ini semua salah tokey jual newspaper nih!!..damneddd.."


kalau macam ni, lho nggak ngorat guwe pon...guwe akan ngorat lho....

hahahaHAHAHAHHAhhahahahahahHHAHAHAHAAhhhahahahaHAha

I hope he's not reading this...otherwise I'll be super embarassed!

to sum it all up....

ini jam itu hati pun ada banyak bunga-bunga.....bengong kan....sabar amalia, sabar....kontrol emosi anda...hehehehe....sekarang ni tengah jiwang dengar lagu ni....layann jela, kalau korang perasan, I added a gadget at the left top corner called Dizzler Music Player, so kalau nak dengar lagu ni, just type the title of the song at its search bar, click on the song, then play....I malas nak pasang the music player yang main lagu terus coz nanti the webpage will take a while to load....and bukannya everytime I nak dengar muzik pun...hehehe, jangan muntah pulak bila dengar lagu ni, ok.

Ne-Yo – Never Knew I Needed
(The Princess and the Frog Animated Film Soundtrack)

For the way you changed my plans

For being the perfect distraction

For the way you took the idea that I have

Of everything that I wanted to have

And made me see there was something missing

For the ending of my first begin

And for the rare and unexpected friend

For the way you’re something that I never choose

But at the same time something I don’t wanna lose

And never wanna be without ever again

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed

So now it’s so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily (ever after)

The way you slime and how you comfort me (with your laughter)

I must admit you were not a part of my book

But now if you open it up and take a look

You’re the beginning and the end of every chapter

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (that I needed)

So now it’s so clear I need you here always

Who’d knew that I’d be here (who’d knew that I’d be here)

So unexpectedly (so unexpectedly)

Undeniablely happy (hey)

Sat with you right here, right here next to me (oh)

Girl you’re the..

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (said I needed)

So when you were here I had no idea

You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (needed)

So now it’s so clear I need you here always

Baby baby

Now it’s so clear I need you here always

hahahahahahhahahaaaa......bengong sudah