you choose it,

win or lose it,

love is never quite the same,

I love you,

now I lost you,

don't feel bad,

you're not to blame

so kiss me goodbye

and I'll try not to cry

all the tears in the world

won't change your mind

this song brought me to tears...tak kisahla whether I'm singing it or playing it with the orchestra...

adododoiiiii.....just finished talking to my sister...adalah cerita nya yang membuatkan aku rasa sayu dan keliru...anyway, the best way is to just keep going on with life and make myself happy....amal, amal...berapa lama lagi nak jadi macam ni....I know I have to open my heart one day....but keeping it under covers doesn't mean I haven't move on...sometimes moving on means just to be happy with yourself, and yes, I'm happy by myself...sampai dah ke tahap melebih-lebih dah...is it because I need a proper closure? Isn't the end is the end, no matter what? 

Jika benar cinta itu masih ada dan rindu itu masih terselit di hatimu, berikan semula kepadaku agar kau tidak perlu membawanya ke mana-mana. Jodoh bukan kita yang menentukannya....aku redha dengan takdir.

Wah wah, jiwang karat la pulak aku ni. Dahla anak dara ni tak senonoh pukul 9 pagi baru bangun.....need to get up shower and discover San Antonio, peeps! Bunyi barge on the river tour kat bilik ni sudah memanggil-manggil...so, chalo!

bila tengok blog orang lain, meriah je dengan gambar-gambar....best je tengok...anyways, being the super lazy that I am, jangan harapla blog ni nak penuh dengan gambar-gambar la kan..but i still like to write in here...for my own future reference jugak...

am in Houston for about a week now, tak pegi mana pun....pagi pegi kelas, petang balik kelas, malam pegi makan, borak-borak n balik....pegi tengok wayang pun baru sekali je...tengok Shrek...the cinemas here are big...walaupun kat suburbs je...tapi yang best nya banyak food selection la...so far here's what I eat (besides makanan hampeh kat cafe training center)...

1. Miyako Sushi : oohh, sedap sedap....we had california roll, unagi with avocado roll, salmon with crabmeat..and this prawn tempura sushi wrapped with mango and hot sauce....nyummm...had green tea ice cream for dessert, but this one agak manis dan kurang rasa green tea nya

2. Mia Luna: it's a tapas bar at Rice Village...I had some fried squid and salmon...sedap and murah

3. Shiva Indian restaurant: I ordered the Jhinga (prawn) Vindaloo...tak sedap sangatla, not worth it.better pergi kedai India lain...lagi mahal pun tapi lagi sedap, so takpe....

4. went to a Korean BBQ with my classmates...tapi aku tak makan bbq aka arirang tu....I ordered pajeon and bibimbap instead....pajeon dia lagi sedap kot yg aku buat sendiri....bibimbap pun biasa je...takleh lawan bibimbap yg aku makan masa on the way ke Gyeong-ju. Huhu...tapi mat-mat saleh tu sangat la suka and kagum dengan murahnye makanan kat situ.....makan punya la banyak plus beer and sake (them)....for 7 ppl...USD180 with tips....kira murahla by their standard....dan diorang jarang makan kat Chinatown...

5. tengahari went to Italian restaurant nearby learning centre sebab kitorang depressed tengok lunch yang diserve....tapi tak sempat nak makan habis lunch tu sebab dah kena balik kelas....

6. Went to Istanbul grill for some Turkish food coz I need some meat! Mat saleh kat kelas aku cakap sedap....meleleh-leleh air liur bila cerita pasal food and dessert kat situ...for me, biasa2 je la....I like the humus though...and the bread....dessert dia pulak (baklava) a bit sweet for my liking....so ambik sikit je

ok that's it so far....esok nak makan apa pulak ye?

few notes

- sangat penat naik flight, more than 30 hours travel time inclusive of airports layover....penat beb...
 walaupun naik biz class

- pramugara kat dalam flight to LA has the same name as my dad's...turned out that he lives in the same neighbourhood as mine, his dad is also a teacher...and he's the first cousin of my primary school friend... dan kami sudah add kat facebook...

- pramugari kat dalam Continental Airlines peluk aku masa aku keluar from plane LA-Houston....orang lain dia tak peluk pun....apsal friendly sangat ni? maybe, I look like I need a hug.

- this trip is not as miserable as I originally thought.....and being alone is not that bad either...ada sorang colleague from SSB tgh buat kerja kat sini....nasib baik aku tak pernah berlagak dengan dia masa kat offshore...sangat gentleman and sangat baik...pagi-pagi ambik aku and drive pegi kelas walaupun kitorang duduk hotel lain-lain, then balik sama-sama, and makan, etc. takdela bosan sangat....next week dia dah takde though, balik Miri sudah...pandai²la aku survive nanti...Monday next week public holiday kat sini, Tuesday might go for curry dinner with few guys from my class (orang putih kat sini gile makan kari you!)...

- gonna watch Shrek-3D malam ni...yeay!

- I was awestruck tadi bila aku dapat tahu ada sorang mat saleh ni cakap dia masuk Islam sejak tahun lepas....tak sangka beb...muka typical American...dari Lousiana, so agak tradisional....kalau korang selalu tengok cerita omputih...muka dia memang macam ulat buku...he was an agnostic before, lepas tu baca Quran independently and thinks that Islam is the truth....even sebut "masjid" dan bukan "mosque" OK....agak comel la jugak, pendek², nerd....siap ada company sendiri lagi 2 bijik...org lunch break, dia sibuk uruskan hal company dia....tapi, aku bangga la jugak sebab dia memang tak sentuh dah hatta daging ayam yang tak disembelih sekalipun selepas masuk Islam...

woot woot
update later.
kena buat exercise dalam kelas ni

-

bebelan seorang anak dara sunti di pagi hari

I'm at Miri Airport Golden Lounge (yang takde la grand pun....), waiting for my flight to KL....
semalam balik dari ofis pukul 8.30 malam....busy giler beb siapkan kerja and assignments for the course....
itupun aku balik sebab meremang dah bulu roma duduk kat ofis sorang²...ngeeeee....

balik tu singgah KFC je sebab dekat....ditemankan oleh Miss E...nasib baik aku dah gi makan lamb chop the night before, kalau tak...kempunan la jawabnya....dahla takleh makan daging for the next 3 weeks....hu hu

then, sampai rumah around 10pm, terhegeh-hegeh la pulak nak memasang post box baru kat pagar rumah kan......selama ni posmen main campak je surat or selit kat pagar, tapi skrg ni musim hujan...plus anjing suka berak merata ni....so, kenala jugak beli itu post box....

pastu jenuhla nak packing sambil berfikir.....siap dalam pukul 1.30 pagi....huhu....pastu tidor around 2 am, and bangun balik at 3.30 pagi....boleh?

huhuu...am so in Houston time right now.....walaupun belum sampai sana lagi...sampai KL ni nak melepak ngan Cik F sampai tengahari...flight ke LA pukul 3....di saat ni lagu New York si Alicia Keys tu berkumandangla pulak....amboi, macam tahu-tahu je

pagi tadi masa nak letak beg dalam kereta...sangat terasa beratnya...sebelum ni kalau beg biru kesayanganku tu sampai 30kg lebih pun aku boleh angkat....tapi tadi terasa berat.....tapi bila timbang, 15kg je pun....hmmmm, mungkin aku dah terbiasa travel light kot nowadays....or I'm just old!!!!

okla.....obviously the lack of sleep is making me incoherent and buat ayat tak berstruktur....doakan saya selamat pergi dan kembali ye kawan-kawan......Miri, I love you...hu hu...takde kes

of Aminulrasyid and the police who shot him

mStar Online : Tabung Bantu Koperal Jenain Subi Dilancar

Sila baca artikel di atas.
I've been keeping my opinions for quite some time now.
I feel sorry for the family of Aminulrasyid but at the same time, couldn't fully blame Jenain for doing his job.
Maybe it's part of a reflex action kicking in when he sees orang lari-lari macam tu. Kalau polis lembab takde reflex action baik takyah jadi polis, baik jadi jaga gendut kat bank yang senang je mesin atm ngan cdm dirompak.
Just to loosely quote the article and adding on a bit of my own...a working police is tons better than a corrupt police.
Pengalaman jantung terhenti beberapa kali disebabkan oleh budak-budak yang membawak motor tanpa lesen and without a care of their own lives membuatkan saya rasa susah nak kasihan. But at the same time, I know how sad it feels to lose your loved ones.
Kepada ibu bapa di luar sana, watch your kids. They may behave like an angel at home, tapi kat luar siapa yang tahu.
Buktinya, some of my brother's friends' parents don't even know that their sons smoke.
Bapak kawan aku sendiri tak tau yang anak kesayangan dia menogok arak macam minum sirap limau je.
So, jangan bagi anak anda bawak motor, kereta ataupun lori balak tanpa lesen.
Kalau diorang dah ada lesen pun, pastikan diorang keluar berbekalkan nasihat penaja yang panjang berjela.
Kalau diorang buat jugak, lempang je.
My mum did that to my sister.
Sapa suruh sekolah lagi dah pandai-pandai nak merempit.
Nanti apa-apa jadi sapa yang susah dan sedih hati? Family jugak.
Makcik aku yang tak sekolah tu pun tau.

I'm PMS-ing, hence the tone...but otherwise, it's really what I think.

how would i look in 20 years?

I came across this website today... all u have to do is upload a photo of yours....and the website will generate an image of how u would look like in 20 years...hahaha.....

so i uploaded 2 photos of mine and here are what i got...

hmmmm....not bad jugak....maintain...albeit with some pigmentations here and there...tapi macam garang je.... i would prefer to look like this...

hehehehhehehehe....luv u mom

Karipap-Karipap Cinta

I just got back from another weekend in Kuching....yeah, I went back for 2 straight weekends...since everyone is there and the next time I'll be back is at the end of June...so, why not?

My uncle and his family spent some time with us over the weekend. Zhafri stayed the whole weekend in our house to play video games with Adin. It's so nice to see my uncle, aunt and my cousins happy, even though I know deep down in their hearts they really, really miss Zharif.

When they came to my house to pick up Zhafri, the girls and my aunt were very excited to tell me their latest news.

"Kak Long, Kak Long, kitorang beli buku cerita baru!"

"Oh yeah...buku apa?"

"Karipap-Karipap Cinta."

"Hahahaha....bestnya title.Best ke buku tu?"

"Tak baca lagi. Ada kat rumah. Kitorang beli sebab muka girl dekat cover buku tu macam Kak Long."

"Hmmmmm.....harus kucari buku itu."

So, as soon as I reached Miri, I googled the book. Apparently, it's quite popular....they're printing the 3rd edition in less than a month and a proposal of turning it into a movie is currently in progress....but, the likeness of the covergirl and me? I'll let you people see for yourself. One thing for sure....I think one of us needs to lose the double chin. Hehehehehe

Memori Berkasih

hmmm...this is like my 3rd post of the day? aduiii, something must have gotten the better of me...

tadi, I bukak BeautifulNara.com seperti biasa, pastu tergerak hati nak baca pasal kisah Achik Spin kemalangan tu....I tumpang bersedih and nangis tengok wife, anak-anak, family dan kawan-kawan dia sedih akan pemergiannya......suka jugak dulu dengar lagu-lagu duet dia ngan Siti Nordiana...alih-alih terus tertengok semua video klip diorang kat YouTube...

I particularly like this song, Memori Berkasih....hayatilah ye.... *I'm sooooo in the sappy mood right now la...*

Telah kucuba memintal kasihmu

Biar menjadi ikatan abadi

Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita

Mungkin takdir yang meminta

Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita

Mungkin takdir yang meminta

Bermusim kita bersama

Menyemai ikatan cinta

Tak mungkin kasihku hilang

Kukunci hati untukmu

Kumpul kan kenangan indah

Simpanlah senda gurauan

Andainya kau kerinduan

Itulah jadi penanwar

Sungguh ku terharu dan pilu

Kasih kusemai kau abaikan

Putusnya ikatan cinta

Mungkin tiada jodoh kita

Menangis hati ini

Ku juga bersimpati

Hancurnya harapanku

Maafkan sayang

Kasihmu yang berubah

Aku pun tak menyangka

Itulah alasanmu, pergilah sayang

Biar rindu di kejauhan

Menemani hati yang gelisah

Semoga bertemu jua kebahagiaan

Telah kucuba memintal kasihmu

Biar menjadi ikatan abadi

Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita

Mungkin takdir yang meminta

Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita

Mungkin takdir yang meminta 

of being pressured.

ada sesuatu terjadi dalam hidup saya sekarang ni yang saya tak rasa nak cerita panjang lebar....tapi cukup serius untuk membuatkan mak bapak saya rasa nak masuk campur jugak....dipendekkan cerita, ini adalah jawapan saya yang saya hantar melalui sms (sebab I really, really malas nak bercakap)....and I think the bahasa S'wak is simple enough for you to figure out what it means.

"jangan kelakar ngan aku pasal polah decision coz i dont want to think about it at the time. anak kitak tok sik ada perasaan to seriously commit at the time being. maok main-main jak adala. sik semestinya aku sik kawen aku sik happy. i'm at the happiest time in my life being single. ya ajakla, mun kitak paksa aku kawen aku lari dari rumah. hehehe"

my dad senyap. my mum replied - "keputusan di tangan sendiri. kau nak lari dari rumah siapa? ha ha ha"

-__- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tagged by cik semut

10 Things That Make Me Happy / Put a Smile on My Face


1. When my friends act childish in a cute/amusing sort of way.

2. When my parents act childish in a cute/amusing sort of way.

3. When people make remarks on how glowing I look and/or think I'm the younger sister.

4. Discovering new places.

5. When the person I have a crush on put comments on my facebook page.

6. When I have time to enjoy a morning of watching the DVD I like (which rarely happen nowadays).

7. When I get recognition for a job well done.

8. Hanging out with friends and family.

9. Free stuffs and cheap air tickets.

10. Being at peace with myself.


I'm tagging: Everybody in my blog list at the left side.

Independent Women

performed by Destiny's Child.....go go girl powerr!!


Lucy Liu...with my girl, Drew... Cameron D. and Destiny Charlie's Angels, Come on Uh Uh Uh

Question: Tell me what you think about Me
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my Own rings
only ring your celly when I'm feellin' lonely
when it's all over Please get up and leave


Question: Tell Me how you feel about this
try to Control me boy you get dismissed
pay my Own fun, oh I pay my own bills
always 50/50 in relationships


Bridge:/


The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin
I've bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've bought it
The car I'm driving
I've bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)


Chorus/


All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me


Bridge 2/


Girl I didn't know you could down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
Girl I didn't know you could down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that


Tell me how you feel about this
who Would I want if I would wanna live
I Worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
ladies, it ain't easy bein' Independent


Question: how'd like this Knowledge that I brought
braggin' on That cash that cash that he gave you Is yo' front
if you're gonna brag make Sure it's your money that you flaunt
Depend on noone else to give you what You want


Bridge:1x/
Chorus:1x/
Bridge 2:1x/


Destiny's Child
Wassup?
You in the house?
Sur nuff
Well break these people off Angle style


Child Of Destiny(Woah)
Independent Beauty(Woah)
No one else can scare me(Ooh Woah)
Charlie's Angel's(Woah)
Chorus:1x/
Bridge2:2x/


Good Morning Angels, Good Morning Charlie

a thing to ponder upon....

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w:

“Apabila datang melamar kepadamu seseorang yang kamu redha agamanya dan akhlaknya, maka kawinkanlah. Jika tidak kamu laksanakan, maka akan terjadi fitnah di muka bumi dan kerosakan yang luas”. (HR. Tirmidzi)

tengokla dulu macam mana...

tak sabar rasanya nak menginjak umur 30

hahahaha....some people might think I'm out of my mind by reading that subject....but, no worries...I'm still me....takde tanda-tanda buang tebiat, dan insyaAllah umur saya mungkin akan mencecah 97 walaupun starting from age 89 I will be bedridden / limited mobility / disabled, etc (that's another different story, which I rather not dwell on)....

so, why I wanna be 30?

- I've been embracing my age lately, by putting my full birthday (date, month, year) on my Facebook profile...
- by that time, I don't need to pay anymore for the short term invesments that I made when I was 25....that will leave some RMxxxx at my disposal
- hopefully, I'll get to reap some benefits as well
- I have a feeling that 30 is a good age for me to start a business.
- by then, I might have slowed down and in a healthy stable relationship. (yeay!)
- if I continue taking care of myself...I might look 20. That will mean I look 10 years younger than my real age....(kalau sekarang orang cakap aku umur 20, baru 7 tahun je bezanya....hahahaha...takde kes).
- I might get promoted and would be earning much more than I am now.
- I would have a little munchkin to play with....tak kesahla anak buah ke anak sendiri kan...
- more mature, wiser and refined me...at the moment, I'm still a work in progress.
- more smiling lines will appear.....as a prove of how much I've smiled and laughed!!
- will be renewing my passport in 2012, a month after I turn 30 ....new adventures and beyond!!!

bestnya jadi 30!!!!!

if love is not forever, then what is forever for?

Biarkan berlalu
Semua kepedihanmu
Lelapkan matamu
Biarkan mimpi membawamu
Ke mana kau mahu
Selamat malam
Tidurlah sayangku
Siang kan tiba bercahaya
Bermula baru semua untukmu