love is never selfish

malam tadi kat American Idol ada one guy ni nama dia Chris Medina.... he and his fiancee Juliana Ramos has been together for 8 years and engaged for 2 years. They were supposed to be married by now, when an accident in 2009 left her with a traumatic brain injury. The doctors didn't think that she will wake up from her coma but she did, and he stood by her side, taking care of her.

He made this video on what was to be their wedding day:



kalau nak tengok video sedih lagi satu, tengok ni:



I hope the love that I'm looking for will worth the wait. Amiin.

I wish you happy-ness

I'm sorry I couldn't return your love.

I'm sorry I couldn't put up appearances for you.

Blame this heart of mine.

For living in the shadows of sorrow's past.

That took forever to break free from.

But I think things are just not meant to be.

And hurting you is the last thing I want to do.

Hence the long silence.

I've came a full cycle.

I was hurt, but never in my mind I'd want anybody else

to experience such hurt.

So through my silent I wish you well

for I don't have words to say to you

it's better for you to move on

to find someone who appreciates you

more than I do

treat her right

and I wish you happy-ness.

loserina yang merindu

minggu ni, hari-hari aku balik around 7pm...sungguh terserlah keloser-an saya...

kerja menumpang kat company orang ni betul-betul menyebabkan disiplin aku meningkat secara mendadak...yelah, semua benda nak kena time-write betul-betul....kalau nanti time-write tak setanding dengan kerja, nanti orang bising la pulak kan....and I like the challenge of this new field that I'm working on....menariks.

tapi, kekerapan berulang-alik dan downgrading dari rumah ku yang luas ke bilik hotel yang tak berapa luas is taking a toll on my health...nak makan pun aku tak selera walhal aku boleh makan apa saja yang aku suka sebab company bayar....penat siot....the way I arranged my workplan is to try to finish whatever I can only do in KL as fast as possible and then benda-benda yang aku boleh guna excel, aku boleh buat kat Miri je....sebab aku tak tahan duduk hotel lama-lama, nak tinggalkan rumah aku lama-lama, etc...

sebenarnya aku plan nak pegi sampai minggu ni je....then january tahun depan baru pegi lagi 2 minggu...tapi tak sempat siapla pulak....so, next week aku kena datang lagi....darn....dahlah weekend ni kena gi mukah naik twin otter....agh, suddenly the blissfulness of being a couch potato in the comfort of my living room seems to be a faraway reality...

malam ni nak rehat saja, esok nak bangun awal packing....esok balik naik AirAsia sebab my friend is coming to Miri pasal nak gi wedding tu sama-sama....so, terpaksala aku naik flight yang sama dengan dia kan....kalau aku naik MAS, kesian pulak dia kena tunggu aku kat Miri airport for another 2 hours...huhu, next week, aku kena make sure aku sampai before my mom arrive in Miri pulak....huhu, banyak sungguh perkataan Miri dalam ayat ni.

walaupun aku tau tiada yang menunggu di Miri (T_T)....but still I can't wait to go home to these...

my reading corner

tempat aku menjadi kentang

oh katil, tilam dan bantal, dan 320 thread count bedsheet...haha

dapur? erm, tak kot.... ;P

I'll put the flowers for you to step on

I have no idea what to post for today so I went looking into my drafts. This is a note I wrote a day after I broke up on my FB notes....hancur giler hati masa tu....sebab tulah tulis macam-macam...I removed it from my FB the day after though. Since I'm 100 times ok now...so share jelah ngan korang..




I still remember my trip to South Korea with the sistas...lots of things to remember and one of it is this poem by Kim So Wol, apparently it is very popular...since you can buy it carved on a piece of rock and sold as deco in their equivalent of RM2 shop...for some reason, I still keep the words with me...this is the translation (though I think it does not really do justice to the poet who wote it beautifully in Korean)..

"If you don't love me
I will let you go without any comment
I'll put the flowers in front of you
Every step you take
Please step on the flowers

If you don't love me and go away from me
I'll never cry.."

But of course, at that time...I didn't have any idea what the future holds...I just know that regardless of how life treats you, you just have to take it on as it comes along..and see what comes next...

At the moment, I just feel tired and numb..nothing to be angry and worked up about...and I did just what Kim So Wol had written...letting go without any comment, the "flowers"...except for the last bit...eventually the tears will stop in time...like what a friend said, give your heart time to mend, but don't let it shatter...the best is yet to come, InsyaAllah

ni boleh dikira as tribute ke?

For the whole month of October, Astro has been airing old P Ramlee movies through various channels; Ria, Prima, Citra, Warna, Ceria and even History channel...actually sebelum ni pun dekat Prima memang selalu main filem P Ramlee, but this month memang memanjang la cerita P Ramlee sahaja....so, at the little time I spent at home this month, aku memang akan tengokla cerita P Ramlee ni kat TV.....sekali masa 7-9pm....then after that mesti tertido depan TV then woke up to see another P Ramlee movie playing tengah-tengah malam which ends at 2.45am....sanggup tengok tu...ada sekali tengok "Anakku Sazali", went to sleep and had a very sad dream sampai menangis teresak-esak dalam tidur.....saya memang minat cerita P Ramlee y'all....back during the days of no pirated VCDs, kat rumah saya we have an almost complete collection of original P Ramlee's VCDs.....huhu

Anyway, malam ni is like the finale for the P Ramlee month kot....kat Astro Ria tayang Konsert Di Manakan Ku Cari Ganti and kat Astro Citra (yang ni korang kena langgan la kalo nak) diorang tayang P Ramlee The Musical.... P Ramlee was born in 1929 and passed away in 1973 at the age of 44 years....muda lagi tu....but I remembered from either TV show or something I read back then that during his last years it was quite sad.....bila tengok balik the musical tu....I learnt that he has to compete against the radio and TV phenomenon, pop yeh-yeh (tiba-tiba rasa benci dengan L Ramlie dan Jeffrydin boleh?) and he was even boo-ed during one of his public performances kat stadium mana entah...Saloma pulak has to sing in night clubs in KL to make ends meet....sedih kan....ada hikmahnya Allah menjemput dia pergi lebih awal...it must have been a hard fall for him....he was on top of the world, and suddenly within a span of few years jadi macam tu, kena treat macam apa je....yelah crowd kat Malaysia ni bukan boleh harap sangat....tengokla apa jadi dengan industri muzik and perfileman kita....memang susah nak ada penyokong......P Ramlee, like other genius artistes (macam Van Gogh, Beethoven) lived their lives to a sad ending....bila dah mati baru orang nak mengenang-ngenang.....those titles awarded to him are all awarded post-humously....and I don't know where do the royalties from his songs are going to....anak kandung dia yang boleh diharap, Nasir P Ramlee dah meninggal and si Sazali pulak adalah buruh DBKL (if I'm not mistaken)...

Anyway, this is the last song that P Ramlee wrote.....sedeyyy woooo.....I'm putting the lyrics in here....nak dengar lagunya, just google or find it at YouTube.....fikiran saya terganggu selepas dengar lagu itu and hence gigih mencari charger laptop so that I can google it up and write about it.....

Air Mata di Kuala Lumpur

Airmata di Kuala Lumpur
Jatuh berkecai hancur berderai

Putus kasih yang tak ku duga

Dikau pergi tak tinggal pesan

Hancur musnah impian mulia

Istana ku bina menjadi pusara

Gelaplah pasti masa hadapan

Jiwaku merayau utara dan selatan

Hidup sudah tiada beerti

Zahirku hidup hai batinku mati

Remuk redam hatiku hancur

Airmata di Kuala Lumpur

Oh sedihnya..... Al-Fatihah.


some FAQs about P Ramlee at this link ---> CLICK

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